Just Precious

All ‘Bout Breastfeeding, part 2

My approach for breastfeeding Middle was very different. I had been there, done that. I was, short of formal lactation consultant training, a pro. While my first nursing experience was full of questions, concerns, blunders, frustrations and self-doubt, my second experience started without trouble.

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And, oh boy! He was hungry. He ate, a lot. He gained weight without problems. Middle was a super milker. He latched on with ease and never wanted to do anything else.

Which is nice, except that there are certainly times when being able to feed him a bottle, or have my husband or babysitter feed him a bottle, would have been ideal. And while he did, resistantly, take a bottle, he far preferred the breast.

I breastfed middle for 12 months and one week when we mutually agreed that it was time to wean. I was a bridesmaid in my cousin’s 4-day wedding a week after his first birthday and it was then, during all of the hoopla, that he realized the exciting things to drink besides booby-milk, and I realized the pain of sudden weaning, especially smushed into a strapless bridesmaid’s dress. [As an aside, I will be in another wedding, as Matron of Honor, this spring. This time I'll remind the seamstress to make room for adjusting the bra area.]

There was really only one bump in the breastfeeding road with Middle, and it could have been a mountain to overcome, had I not followed my gut. When he was about 3 weeks old, we noticed that Middle had developed a rash. The rash consisted of tiny pinprickish bumps all over his chest. It needs to be noted that our family pediatrician left the practice the week after Middle was born, leaving us to find and connect with another doctor in the practice. So when this rash developed, I called the nurse line, asking for the doctor who had been recommended to me.

That day, at the “sick” visit, the new pediatrician barely paused to look. “Its milk,” she said. “Just stop all dairy products and the rash will disappear.”

“No milk for you!” was just about the worst thing I could hear. While we weren’t living on Mac & Cheese and pizza, a day rarely went by without eating dairy: in my cereal, string cheese, sandwiches, yogurt… and, certainly on my pizza! I knew others had done it, but I just couldn’t imagine.

I’ve always held close to the philosophy that one has to do what is best for her, and that may not always be breastfeeding. This time, however, I was pretty steadfast with sticking with it. Afterall, I breastfed Big for 13 months. I’d be crazy not to do the same with Middle. Still, the idea of giving up all dairy for the next 12+ months terrified me. How bad, I wondered, would it be to just stop now at 3 weeks? For a mom who intended to breastfeed as easily and as long as she did her first, really bad.

Something wasn’t sitting right, something besides my milk and cereal from breakfasat that morning. Middle and I barely met the doctor. She asked about 3 questions, looked at his belly, ran her hand over his chest and announced this strong aversion.Would the old pediatrician have done the same? Would she have known more about our family or how we would respond to the statement “just stop all dairy products”?

Yes, she would have. She would have approached the conversation differently, not by daring me to change my consumption. And she would have spent more time getting to know our family and the child of concern.

Honestly, I didn’t believe the hype. I know a lot of people are told to stop eating dairy while breastfeeding and do, and more power to them, but I seriously doubted any connection. I’m not telling you to eat dairy when your doc tells you not to, but I do recommend a second opinion, which is exactly what I did. About 10 minutes after being shooed away “bye bye! No milk! Your baby will be better!” I called a different practice. Its one with an amazing reputation, a rep it truly deserves. They were able to schedule a consult for us a few days later. So, for abut 2 days I cut back on dairy, but there was little to no change in the rash (and we shouldn’t expect that. It should take longer for dairy to get out of a system).

Anyway, I met with a brand-new doctor and instantly  knew I was about to break-up with the old practice, where we’d been for over 2 years. Any loyalty I might have felt was gone the minute I stepped in the door of ASP. This new pediatrician, we’ll call her Dr. A, was young, bright and friendly. She didn’t just ask about his skin, she spent time asking about me, about my other child, about the baby and his habits. She wanted to know us and our situation.

After assessing Middle, she explained that while she didn’t know exactly what the rash was from, she would hardly consider telling me to stop dairy because the rash didn’t look like a dairy rash. But, and this is where I truly fell in love and realized a tremendous amount of respect for her, she wanted to call in another doctor from the practice for a 2nd opinion. She called a doc with more experience, just to be sure.

He came in and, though he was booked with appointments, shook my hand, introduced himself and asked about the baby, our first few weeks and how I was holding up. Then he inspected the baby. “Nope. There is no way I’d tell you to give up dairy.”

The rash lasted a few weeks more and then went away, never to return. But what’s key here, to me, is that I realized that while I wanted to keep breastfeeding, I also knew myself. And I recognized that I couldn’t give up dairy completely. It was an extremely stressful time for me. I’m not sure what would have happened had the new pediatrcians agreed that I needed to withhold dairy. I’m sure I would have tried, but just reading the backs of all of the foods at the grocery story is enough to make one quit breastfeeding.*

As I stated before, Middle didn’t like the bottle. He breastfed, and he breastfed well for about a year and a week. Bottles were rare. I didn’t pump (more on that in a few weeks) and we probably used about 3 or 4 jars of formula, tops.

*I speak with experience. Big is lactose intollerant and we went through about a month of withholding dairy for his tests.

I’ll blog about my current experience breastfeeding Little next week. In the meantime, read

• All ’bout Breastfeeding, part 1, reflections on my year breastfeeding Big
• I’m a Bravado Mama! Sweepstakes and Big Breastfeeding News