Boys, Guns and Frustrations

by Julie Meyers Pron on June 2, 2010 · 10 comments

For 3 years, I’ve been taking my kids to a private, pricey rather exclusive club for swim lessons. A club in which the woman lounging at the pool next to me just described as her country club. Where we’ve been members for several years and where, until about 6 weeks ago, I felt fairly safe with my kids.

But 6 weeks ago, 4 new boys joined my kids’ swim class time. While there are 2 instructors, when the instructors are out doing one-on-one, the kids are left to bully. And, boy, do they bully. They compete, they push, they hold heads under water. These children are no older than 6.

I stay close. I’m aware. Their parents? On the far side of the pool, chatting amongst themselves, checking their blackberries. Many days, these parents leave for the half hour.

Most days I try hard to let my children fend for themselves, keeping a well-focused eye on them. But it went too far when the trouble-makers competed to splash my baby while she watched from her stroller. My boys weren’t innocent. They were persuaded to partake. But 3 weeks ago, even they had had enough. That day, about half way through his lesson, Big got out of the pool and proclaimed: “Mom, I quit. I don’t want to do swimming lessons anymore. Its not fun anymore.”

That was all it took for me to call the director. Immediately, they acted on it, moving my kids to a different area, away from 3 of the other kids for lessons. But one boy moved with them, so the instructor had him sit about 8 feet away from my kids during the lesson. I don’t even know if the other parents know that the children have been separated. I don’t care.

For two weeks, this structure was safe. The kids enjoyed swimming again.

And then, today, they moved the kids into the indoor pool, due to weather. At the indoor pool, the structure was gone. The kids were all over the place.

Only one parent stayed for lessons. She brought along her toddler son.

With his gun.

gun

Excuse me, please. I’m about to get controversial.

Of course, seeing how these children behave at the pool, I’m not surprised that her little guy had a gun like this. And while we’re all allowed to have our own beliefs (or lack) on parenting, I would definitely prefer that she kept her’s at home.

We have a very strict policy in our home. No Guns. We talk about it often. The kids understand that guns aren’t safe. That even play guns aren’t nice. And that if someone points one at you, you’re allowed to ask them not to. And they know that, should they see a gun, real or fake, they’re to come to us and tell us.

About a year ago, a neighbor had a toy gun that he pointed straight at Middle’s face. Middle screamed. I mean SCREAMED. He was playing, innocently, in our backyard when I heard him. I reminded him that he could move away. When he got to me, he was shaking. Shaking. Because he had asked the boy to not point the gun. And he told the boy that we’re not allowed to have guns at our house. And the boy continued to point it at him. So, he screamed.

Look. I’m fine with you having your own {lack of} beliefs, but not at my house. At my house, your kids don’t bring guns. And they don’t point them at my kids. So, I stood up and, very loudly to make sure all the neighbors heard, called out, “we don’t allow guns at our house. Please take that somewhere else.”

He did. To the house next door. For the remainder of the afternoon, he proceeded to point the toy at me and my kids in our yard. At the time, the kid was 4 years old. Tell me, what good is he learning? Intimidation? Lack of respect? Because that’s all I’m seeing.

So, seeing this two year old with a gun, a gun that looked pretty frightening, pointing at the kids in the pool? Sick. Really. Truly. Sick.

See. The kid, aka the brother of a bully, was in public. Pointing a gun in pool full of kids. We’re living in a time where shootings like Columbine and Virginia Tech and Paradise, PA, are a part of our lives. And what, pray tell, are we teaching our children about acceptable behavior when they’re permitted to bring a gun that looks like this where ever he wants? And how are we teaching our children that they’re safe in their homes, pools and play areas?

I’m even less surprised, now, about the way these kids behave in the pool. I already knew their parents ignore them in a dangerous place. And now I know that the parenting choices being made show utter disrespect for those around them. And, ultimately, for their own children.

Clearly, I’m upset about this. I’ve written about Zero-Tolerance Policies before. A debate always comes around to the point that the policies aren’t flexible enough to exist in public places. Except. Except in a case like this, when people are made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable because another child is carrying something he shouldn’t be, well, this is when I go to my stance that Zero-Tolerance Policies should remain what they are called. Zero. None. Zilch. Utterly and completely inflexible. Because no one, absolutely no one, should be made to feel uncomfortable when someone is pointing a gun at her. Real or fake. It doesn’t belong.

About Julie Meyers Pron

Julie Meyers Pron has written 813 post in this blog.

mom of 3 and wife, Julie is a former elementary school teacher and a Public Relations manager. She is the owner/editor of Just Precious, founding partner of Just Centsible, and a team member of Splash Creative Media. Julie is a PTOer, volunteer, elementary educator and that's just the beginning of the list!