Last week, I posted about my fear of traveling without my children. I’m grateful for all of the feedback, advice and virtual hugs. Unfortunately, none of it worked, but I don’t think any of the respondents actually expected it to.
The night before I left for the Yahoo! Motherboard Summit, I cried. I cried to myself. I cried to my husband. I picked up the phone about 7 times, ready to apologize for not being able to come.
My stress affected my husband. He finally told me he was offended by my fear. He expressed that he travels often enough; while he is often fearful, he takes comfort knowing that should anything happen while he’s away, our children will be safe, secure, and raised well and right by their fantastic mother. Of course, this made me cry harder. Added to my fear was guilt. He thought I was worried about our children being raised without a mother. He worried my concern was that he couldn’t parent them alone.
He was wrong.
My concern was that I wouldn’t be there. That my growing relationship with my children would end if there was a plane crash or a dreadful Earthquake. My fear was that I’d miss their first days of school, their first dates, sweet sixteen, college, wedding, home run hits, highs and lows. I know my fears were unlikely, but I couldn’t get past them.
I never did make that phone call, though. I packed for my trip. I overslept and ran out the door to make my plane in time. I rushed through 3 terminals on foot, for fear the shuttle would take to long. I made it to the plane, for the 5+ hour flight to San Francisco’s airport, without an opportunity to break down and cry.
On the plane, I scrolled through my pictures. I teared as I showed the stranger-friend (Nikki from Stella & Dot) next to me my adorable children.
It was totally worth it. I came back inspired (more on that coming soon), energized and even more in love with my family. I couldn’t wait to hug and hold each one. Today the computer stayed off: instead, I played and listened. After four days away, I realized how much I wanted to just stare at their faces and listen to their voices.
I learned a lot this week while at the Yahoo! Motherboard Summit. The most important thing I learned is to value time I have with my family. My time traveling without my children helped me grow into a stronger mom who recognizes the importance of time well spent.
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Glad that you faced your fears and made the trip! I suspect it was a very valuable experience for your husband as well. Some of my fondest (and educational) moments with the kids are from when I’ve been left fully in charge for a stretch of days. I’m VERY happily married, so that is not the point. Each parent has a slightly different style, so the different contexts of Mom+Dad-In-Charge vs. Mom-In-Charge vs. Dad-In-Charge all bring out different little nuances in the parent-child relationship.
Of course, also glad you made the trip to our coast because it gave me the opportunity to finally meet you and Kelly in person.
Regards,
Bill
I’m so glad you didn’t make that phone call and I’m just as happy to hear that you enjoyed that special time soaking up your family’s wonderfulness upon your return. I really enjoyed meeting you and look forward to great things to come!
.-= Amy´s last blog ..The Mother of All Conferences =-.
Twitter: justprecious
says:
Excellent points, Bill, the -in-charge dynamic does make a difference in the home. It was wonderful meeting you!
And Amy, thank you times about a million and one! See you very soon!
.-= Just Precious´s last blog ..Seven-Year-Old Boy Birthday Wish List =-.
I know its so hard leaving your kids behind. I always worry even if they are staying 10 minutes down the road at Grandmom’s
I am glad to hear you had a great time and look forward to reading all about it!
Twitter: justprecious
says:
I think its easier (for me, at least) to have the kids go away than for me to go away. Yeah, I really need to get that post about the Motherboard Summit together and posted. So much learned! so much excitement!
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Seven-Year-Old Boy Birthday Wish List =-.