Christmas and Chanukkah were only a month ago, but almost the day after, the kids were already begging for a ride to Target to shop. Their list was a mile long. It wasn’t just things that they didn’t receive from the holidays, it was new “must haves.” And every day, that list of “must haves” changed. I cringed each time because, no matter how hard we try to teach them, the children continue to need to learn to respect money and that they should never settle for less than their dreams.

We all know how frustrating that is as a parent. I griped to my husband, “why can’t they just appreciate what they have?” and to my mom, “didn’t they get enough!?” And to the kids, “look at the bucket of brand new toys! You don’t need more things! Save your money to save for your dreams.”

But the kids instantly responded, “but we got money for Christmas! And a gift card! We can spend it, it’s our money.”

True. That’s something we’ve always said to them. When you’re gifted money, it’s your money and you have the right to use it how you wish. But more Beyblades? Another pack of Pokemon cards? Really? That’s how you want to spend your money?! What happened to saving for something big? What will you do with all your cards when, in 2 weeks, kids are bringing a different trading game to school?

In an effort to teach the children to respect money, my husband and I tried a few new tactics. When driving through town Middle requested a stop at Toys R Us to buy another Beyblade. My husband asked how much money he had with him? “TEN DOLLARS,” Middle proudly announced.

“Ten dollars?” the Huz responded. “well, you know. I’m really low on gas. What would you do if you only had your ten dollars, and no gas in the car? Would you drive to Toys R Us and buy Beyblades? Or would you put gas in the car?”

“I’d drive to Toys R Us,” Middle responded. “I want Beyblades.”

“Right, but then you’d be stuck at Toys R Us with no gas in the car and no way to get home,” he explained. Silence followed as Middle realized that gas was more important than Beyblades.

The conversation taught Middle to respect money. It gave Middle the idea that you have to make choices with your money and that sometimes there are more important things to spend on than the toy you really want, but don’t really need.

So, what to do with the money they earned from the holidays? A few years ago, we offered Big the choice: he could spend $60 on souvenirs from his trip to New York, or he could come home, deposit the money in the bank and we’d double the deposit.

He reminded us of this recently, when we told him that rather than spend a $50 visa gift card on Pokemon Cards, he should consider holding onto it for a bigger gift. In turn, he reminded us of his bank account, where we had already deposited a good deal of money and he was earning interest. So, why shouldn’t he be able to buy what he wants?

While he had a good point, I reminded him that I really wanted an iPad case for the holidays and I could, in fact, go buy one. But I was also saving money so we could return to the Outerbanks this summer for vacation. I asked him, which is more important to me: A trip to the Outerbanks for our family or a fancy new iPad case? Without pause, he jumped on the Outerbanks option. “You already have an iPad case!” he reminded me.

“You already have Pokemon cards! Dozens of them,” I countered.

“Yeah. But you have more money in the bank just like I do. And it’s fun to sometimes go out and buy things.” He grumbled.

He had a point. So I offered him this. “It’s very true that we spend our money on things we want. But we can’t spend it all the time, every time we want things. We have to save for future expenses. Things we know we’ll spend money on. Things we don’t even want to have to pay for but we need to. Like water, electricity, our phones and taxes. You’re lucky you don’t have to pay for things like that, yet, but you will someday. And your dad and I are trying to teach you to learn about saving now, so you won’t be so used to spending spending spending that you don’t know how to save when you need to.”

I’m sure that I’ll be revisiting these conversations with my children for years as we encounter new wants and more opportunities to teach them to respect money. But I’m also continuing to teach them to reach for what they really want, and to choose never settle for less than their ultimate goals.

 Thanks to H&R Block and Technorati for sponsoring this post.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

I’ve never been one to flip for hearts. But once a year I’ll take out some old costume jewelry left over from my Sweet 16 days and don those… for the kids, of course, to celebrate this Hallmark holiday of love. Then again. Why look to my 20+ year-old accessories? Perhaps it’s time to find some new accessories of affection.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

For this week’s #VlogMoms question, Annie from Mama Dweeb asks: Tell us about your first job. Hear about my first day as a weekend receptionist at a busy real estate office when I was about 15 in my Vlog.

Have a story to tell from your first day on the job? Share it in the comments, or make a quick video and link up. Visit the other VlogMoms to hear their stories as linked below.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

Pretend play allows young children to try experiences that don’t exist in their every day lives. Somewhere between ages 2 and a half and 4, most toddler to preschool aged children will begin acting as favorite characters, reliving, recreating and creating scenarios and trying to live out lives different than their own.

Children pretend as they are figuring out who they are, and who they aren’t. They give themselves new voices, carry conversations with “friends” and dress up as people they dream to be. Here are 5 toys that encourage pretend play, allowing your children to act outside their lives and use their imagination endlessly.

Doll houses encourage pretend play and enacting for girls and boys

A castle or dollhouse offers opportunities for children to play with characters in a real-life (or fairytale) setting. Children often enact characters through regular home-style routines. Boys play with houses and castles as well, which helps them to explore their feelings and real-life scenarios. For boys try Bigjigs Heritage Playset King Arthurs Castle or the Educo by Hape International Park n’ Go Garage.
For girls: Bigjigs Heritage Playset Princess Palace (pictured) or the Fisher-Price Loving Family Grand Dollhouse.

Puppet shows allow kids to perform experiences as they learn who they are

As the children get older and their hand eye coordination is stronger, they’ll love pretending through puppetry. The Melissa & Doug Deluxe Puppet Theater is a favorite for kids to perform their shows. We love making puppets, but if you’re looking for a starter set for children, try Plush Happy Kids Hand Puppets Set – 8 pc – Multi Ethnical Collection. Our favorite puppets are Melissa & Doug Deluxe Fuzzy Make – Your – Own Monster Puppet but I just noticed Melissa and Doug makes Melissa & Doug Make Your Own Princess Puppet which may end up on a future gift wish list of a our little girl.

Costumes help kids “become” someone new

I used to think kids would wear Halloween costumes once and then they’d go to waste. Just one toddler into parenthood and I learned different. Kids love costumes. We have two overflowing boxes of past Halloween costumes, birthday present costumes and costumes that we purchased at consignment stores, post-Halloween sales and hand-me-downs from friends. There are a few key times to buy costumes at lower prices, primarily the beginning of November and late winter, when the last thing parents are preparing for is a Halloween costume. If your child is starting to show interest in dressing up and living lives different than her own during off-Halloween season, CostumeExpress is offering 15% off all kids’ costumes, including clearance, with code IMAGINE15.

This post contains affiliate links. Thanks to BigJigs for providing a sample product.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

Do your kids say bad words? There are days when I hear something that draws my attention and I turn and am shocked to see it was my child who has the dirty mouth.

image credit: Photostock

Makes me comment under my breath “ohnoyoudi-nt.”

It certainly doesn’t help when you’re at Homegoods and your 2 year old daughter says “Oh. My. G-d. Look at that picture!” and the entire training staff starts laughing and commenting on her cuteness.

Or when your Kindergarten son shouts out “oh CRAP!” when he falls and 6 people run to his rescue.

And all the while you’re trying to figure out where he picked up “crap” and where she first heard “oh. my. G-d” because you know that you always say “goodness.”

Why is your child saying bad words?

What gives? And what should we do?

The honest truth: this is a test. Whether she’s testing you to see how far she can get, other people to see their reactions or her own mouth to see how things sound, she’s doing a test.

She heard it, somewhere. Whether you slipped and dropped the f-bomb (oh, come on. You know you dropped it last Friday night when you dropped your glass of red wine on the tile floor) or she heard a bad word on TV or from peers at preschool, she heard it. Perhaps she overheard two people talking at the table next to you at Chili’s (that, my friends, is a whole other parenting post to come); she had to hear it somewhere to know how to say it. So. Admit it. Somewhere along the way your beautiful peanut’s ears were tainted. She likely learned the word “listen”  in the same way she learned the phrase “what the Hell?”: because she learned to listen.

In fact, generally, a child needs to hear a word three times to understand it’s meaning* and use it in her own vocabulary. So. There’s that. Someone likely said “bullsh!t” a lot over the past few days for her to shout out “Mom! That’s bullsh!t!”

How do we stop our child from using bad words?

Now it’s time to teach your child that she just failed her first test. That it’s not acceptable to say bad words and that you absolutely won’t stand for it. (Unless you will. And then you must be reading my post for humor, yes?) How? Like always, be firm and honest. Hide your smirk (turn away for a millisecond to get that giggle out), get on her level and tell her that words like “crap” are not acceptable and you don’t want to hear it again. Tell her it isn’t nice. Tell him there are other words to use and help him come up with acceptable words. 

Long ago, our family called these words “NTWs” (meaning Non-Tapawingo-Words–Tapawingo being the overnight camp I attended in Maine). In our house we call them “NPWs” for Non-Pron-Words. We have a mental list of NPWs and anytime someone utters or shouts a new one, we add it to our mental list. Even dads can be caught saying an NPW. And, let’s be honest, it’s really fun to scold Daddy for saying a bad word, right?

Be firm, but don’t punish your child unless he knew he was doing wrong

Remember the person at Chilis who said “bullsh!t”? Was he punished? Did someone get down on his level and tell him he wasn’t acting nicely? Probably not. In fact, it’s likely that the people at his table were listening intently, or got a good laugh out of him when he was talking. In other words, he commanded attention and received it. So, your child’s experience with the word “bullsh!t” does what it’s supposed to: it garnered positive attention.

While you’re explaining that the word shouldn’t bring positive attention and that you don’t like or approve of the word, make sure you don’t punish your child for the first or even second offense. Be sure to explain that it’s not a nice word to use and then tell the child that the next time he uses the word, he’ll be punished. Of course, by the fourth (maybe third) offense, punishment is necessary, because now you’re pissed angry.

Positive attention: good; Negative attention: not good

This applies to so much more than foul language. Some kids will do anything for attention, as long as they receive it. It’s a classic case of need. And after a while of not receiving a lot of good attention (really? do you ever applaud your child for saying “well, will you look at that picture!?”), he’ll turn to negative attention (“Oh. My. G-d! That picture is a piece of crap!”) just to get something. Here’s where being firm and standing your ground comes into play. Do not overdo the attention you give to the bad word. Calmly, sharply tell him that it’s not acceptable, and then move on. Because if saying a bad word brings more attention than necessary, then you becoming excited and going on and on saying “we don’t say that” might make him want to say it more.

There’s a line in the middle somewhere, between ignoring and overdoing. Find that line. Be firm. And say “no.”

*Somewhere along the road I learned this in one of my education courses. Sorry. Can’t find a citation. But it makes sense, right? The more repetition, the greater the understanding.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

Essential luxuries: I speak of them often. I call it me time: spa visits, quiet times reading my kindle, my love need for coffee, and luxurious vacations in top-notch locations, my kids’ swingset (the best Mothers’ Day present ever). Spoiled? hmmm. I’d rather say it’s deserving. But Acura says these things are essential. They’re things we need to get through our everydays, the luxuries we depend on.

What are your essential luxuries?

No. Really. Give it a minute and think about those “luxuries” that you really can’t do without.

I know mine are the gym, a cup of coffee, reading time before going to bed each night and, honestly, a little peace and quiet to get my fingers tapping.

Have yours in mind? Great. Because now all you need is a video camera (your webcam will do) and a Facebook account and you can enter to win a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona (ahhh. talk about luxury) at a luxury hotel where you can bask in the dry sun, enjoy peace and quiet (and, maybe, a spa visit), play on your new MacBook Air, and test drive the new 2013 Acura RDX, which is full of essential luxuries, before the rest of the world.

Hold on, what?!

I know. I just threw a lot at you, right? So. Acura is hosting a big contest on their Facebook page where they are giving away five trips for two to a luxury hotel in Scottsdale. There, you’ll enjoy your mini-vacay and you’ll get to test drive the new Acura RDX 2013. How to win? Like the Facebook page to learn more.

Oh. And here’s the bonus. The girls and I at Splash Creative Media are hosting a Twitter Party with Acura on Wednesday night at 9 pm. (That’s right. February 1, because we like starting February with a big Splash.) We’ll tell you all about the Acura RDX, the Essential Luxuries contest and we’re giving away a few essential luxuries, too. You can win gift cards for Spafinder.com, Starbucks, Nook and Restaurant.com and, our grand prize, a Nook!

What you need to do now to enter to win from Acura

To enter to win the amazing mini-vacation in Arizona (please… enter. I can’t, so I want you to win) you’ll need to like the Acura Facebook page. From there, find the link on the left sidebar to RDX Challenge and get all the deets to enter to win. (Seriously. It’s a 2 minute video.)

To win a prize at our twitter party, and to learn more, head over to Splash Creative Media where we’re announcing the party and RSVP. You’ll find all the rules over there, as well as a description of our prizes. And be available Wednesday night at 9 pm EST. I mean, really? who doesn’t want to talk Essential Luxuries for an hour?!

I’ll see you on Wednesday at the twitter party, yes?

*MacBook Pro is a trademark of Apple Inc. Apple is not a participant in or sponsor of this promotion. Acura of Honda Motor Corp. is a client of Splash Creative Media, which is a property of Just Centsible.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

Thank you to who?Comics for sponsoring this post and encouraging my child to read biographies in comic book form! Please click here to learn more about the app. And follow biographies. He wants to learn all about the ups and downs of people’s lives. He’s been reading about Dr. Seuss, Walt Disney and Jackie Robinson. I’m amazed at all he learned.

I jumped at an opportunity to share the Who? Comics series with him. Created in Korea, Who? Comics focus on American and world heros. Each comic has several chapters of life stories–filled with both humor and serious topics. The authors/illustrators are entertaining the readers–it’s like a learning sideshow.

a sampling of the biographies available from Who? Comics

While Big wanted to start with Martin Luther King, Jr., I suggested starting with one of the free stories that comes with the initial download. Big hesitated. “But, I don’t know who Bill Gates is?”

Within minutes, Big had taken my iPad away, so immersed in the story. Through the story he’d rush over to share things. Mom! Did you know Bill Gates’ parents told him he couldn’t play with computers? Did you know he was supposed to be a lawyer? Mom! His best friend died when he was mountain climbing!

His excitement continued as he completed all eight chapters in one evening. Around 10 pm, he came downstairs to return the iPad. Or not. He handed it to me, asking me to download another comic.

“Tell me what you learned?” asked the Huz.

“Actually,” Big said. “I want to search and see what Bill Gates looks like in real life–not in a comic. I want to compare the pictures.” It was 10 pm, but this was incredible learning. We Google-imaged Bill Gates. We examined pictures of his home (oh. my. wow. That’s not a home, it’s a resort!) and we found picture after picture of Mr. Gates. When we came to a mugshot of a very young Bill, I commented, “wow! He was arrested?! Look how young he looks!”

“He was young.” Big shared before I had a chance to google for information. “He was in high school and broke into the local university to hack the computer system.”

Who? Comics' The Computer Genius Who Changed the World: Bill Gates

I was sold. Not only did big thoroughly enjoy what he was reading, he was comprehending it, wanting to learn more and making comparisons in his learning extensions. He was also able to confer an explanation.

“Mom?” he said. “Can I borrow your iPad and show this to my teacher? I think she’d like to learn about Barack Obama.”

“I bet she would,” I said. “You can read the comic and tell her as much as you want. But you are absolutely not allowed to bring my iPad to school.”

I guess teachers will have to find another way to approve books in the future. There’s no way my guy is bringing a $600 toy to school.

Thank you again to who? Comics for sponsoring my post. Please click here to learn more about the app. Visit who? Comics for updates. I was selected for this opportunity by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own. #CleverWhoComics #spon

A few additional notes on Who? Comics

• View a video created by Who? Comics
• The comics are created in Korea, so be prepared for different facial expressions than what we usually see in American comics. (Makes me wonder if Koreans see American faces as so mean and scary sometimes?)
• These biographies are true-to-life. They don’t sugar coat the hero’s lives, so know that these stories will include drugs, alcohol, death, etc. They’re written for children ages 8-12, be prepared to discuss some of these concepts with your children.
• The initial cost for the download is $9.95, and that comes with two comic books: Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey. Additional books cost $4.99 each. I opted to download all 29 books for $29.99. It’s a pricey app at nearly $40. But if your child is swept into real-life stories, you know how much you’d spend on biographies anyway.
• Take some time to pick up the iPad and enjoy the comics on your own, too, (or with your kids, though I will confess that shared reading of comics is difficult.) I started reading Bill Gates after Big did and I couldn’t put it down, either. The authors/illustrators do a great job of telling a story through conversation and you will be amazed all the knowledge and research that goes into these stories.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

There’s something about a Spring sale in January that makes my heart sing. Not only are we getting the bright colors of Spring that put a bounce in our steps at a discount, but we’re also looking ahead to cold months and, bam!, there’s a super discount on the winter clothing. So load up on winter sweaters for 60% off sale prices (I know! Sixty percent off sale prices!) and celebrate the bouncy spring season with 30% off their early spring favorites at LOFT.

Get the LOFT Spring sale discount on your favorites

Use code SAVENOW for 30% off all full price items. Use the same code for 60% (yes, sixty percent) off sale items.

Favorites from LOFT’s Spring line

This spring, color-blocking gets easier with wide stripes and bright colors. Just be careful of where the block lines lay on your body. I tried on a top the other day where the line was straight across the breastplate and made me look like a flat posterboard. You’ll see lots in this season’s hottest colors:  Pantone’s color of the year: tangerine, and aquas, tans and grays.

LOFT sale items at an additonal 60% off

There are pages and pages of items on sale, and a lot of them are perfect for layering, which will take you into early spring or are winter weight at a price you can’t pass up. Usually, when I buy something winter after the new year, I look for a classic look that will be wearable again next year. But at prices this low, it’s not crazy to go for totally trendy if you  know you’ll get a lot of wear out of it in the next two months.

So, how’d you do?

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

Bullying isn’t nice. Kids being picked on for who they are? I know… I’m preaching to the choir. It’s pretty unlikely that a bully isn’t reading this post, right? But maybe not. Perhaps some really clever advertising creators are reading this. And they don’t realize that, in doing good to help their community, they started bullying. Because, sometimes, the most creative, shocking campaigns are mean without meaning to be.

Not sure what I’m referring to? Check out the billboard campaign running in Georgia right now. In an attempt to use shock value to get the attention of parents, the Strong4Life Campaign has purchased billboard ads all over the State of Georgia in hopes to promote a “wake-up call” to Georgian parents about how many children are obese. Their premise is one I absolutely agree with: identifying the obesity crisis in Georgia and enlisting a community to act on their concern.

Smart, right?

But to gain attention, Strong 4 Life and their agency have created a harmful and insulting campaign through ads that aren’t just controversial, they’re insulting to the children who are suffering from obesity. “As a concerned group of moms we recognize that Georgia has a large scale problem with obesity (as the US state with the 2nd highest rate of obesity). No one is refuting that. We are refuting tactics that would harm children in the process.” -Mamavation

Overweight children are being made to feel #ashamed of their problem. And children of normal weight are being exposed to negative connotations about the obese. This is bullying. Why kick the person who’s already down?

We believe it’s wrong to fight obesity by fighting obese people, especially children. Children are defenseless and cannot fight back on their own. Obese people are not the problem, obesity IS. Campaigns that have a focus on hope, support, and education are far more beneficial to children. Most overweight children already suffer from self esteem issues, which are going to be considerably exasperated by these ads. –Mamavation

Join us for a discussion on twitter as moms throughout the nation join together to stand up for these children.

Twitter Event: Friday, January 27th from 9-10pm EST
Hashtag: #Ashamed
Purpose: To protest the Strong4Life Ads in the State of Georgia and chat about obesity and ways to solve problem

Join us by registering for the twitter event and taking a stand against this campaign, and see the list of the many others who are actively #Ashamed at Mamavation.

There will be giveaway prizes, but more importantly, a very important message that we need to get across. Join us to show our strength. Let’s not let these children be #Ashamed. They’re not the problem. Obesity is. Let’s put an end to Obesity. And bullying.

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.

VlogMoms is a newly formed group of mom bloggers who will pose a weekly question and respond on their own blogs. We’re posting each Thursday and linking to each other’s sites. If you love the question, we’d love for you to create your own vlog and link up with us! This week, Desiree Peeples from Mommy Reporter asks: How are you doing with your New Year’s Resolutions.

While I had about 16 goals for 2012, here’s a brief check in on some of them:

Check in with the rest of the VlogMoms, or join us by linking up!

© 2012, Julie Meyers Pron. All rights reserved.