by Just Precious on August 30, 2010 · 1 comment
It was a busy weekend at the Precious household. Not one, but two birthdays. Big turned 7; Middle, 5. But on the morning of their birthdays, they couldn’t actually announce they were 7 or 5 until after they bathed. Because they need to wash off the previous year.
I started the tradition two years ago, when Big had had a really late night the night before his birthday and didn’t bathe before bed. He woke the next morning excited to announce he was 5. And I knew that nothing would get him to shower. Except…
“you’re not 5!” I said. “Not yet! You need to wash off the 4s first.”
Being 5, he totally fell for it. So, the next day, I did the same for Middle. He had to wash off the 2s.
This weekend, it took a little longer for Big to shower. You can tell he’s getting older: he told me he could wait to wash off the sixes because it was, afterall, still his birthday.
Middle, on the other hand, came in my room early and asked “isn’t there something you need to tell me, mom?”
I gave him a huge hug, “of course there is! Happy birthday, my big, sweet 5 year old!”
“No!! You’re supposed to tell me to get in the bathtub!! I’m not really 5 yet!”
I love my guys. And I love that my little cleansing works for them.
Exciting news! I’m a BitMom Blog Network Member! Now, that’s a mouthful, isn’t it? And most of you are probably thinking, what on Earth? What’s a BitMom?
I was deeply affected by the Cyber-Safety seminar at the Yahoo! Motherboard Summit. All the while, my good friend Leticia of Tech Savvy Mama kept tweeting about Bit Moms. So, I linked through and found Bit Moms is a community powered by Bit Defender that works to teach and assist parents in the very scary world of kids on the internet. So, I joined. But I didn’t just join, I applied to become a BitMom Blog Network Member, where I represent BitMoms at events online and in the real world. I’ll have several responsibilities, like posting here on Just Precious monthly articles about cyber safety, hosting a yearly meet-up for local moms about Cyber Safety, be active in the community, host giveaways on my blog for all of you to win prizes, and a few other things. And they’re paying me by supporting me at all of these things as well as paying for me to attend a conference in 2011.
So, why is BitMoms a perfect fit for me? Because as a member of the blogging community, I recognize that I know a lot more about cyber safety than the average mom. Which makes it my job to educate other moms about cyber safety.
Its an honor to join so many wonderful leaders in the community by joining BitMoms. And I welcome all of my readers to go on over to BitMoms to check it out. Its a growing community with a very important goal. One I’m proud to support.
Last week, I posted about my fear of traveling without my children. I’m grateful for all of the feedback, advice and virtual hugs. Unfortunately, none of it worked, but I don’t think any of the respondents actually expected it to.
The night before I left for the Yahoo! Motherboard Summit, I cried. I cried to myself. I cried to my husband. I picked up the phone about 7 times, ready to apologize for not being able to come.
My stress affected my husband. He finally told me he was offended by my fear. He expressed that he travels often enough; while he is often fearful, he takes comfort knowing that should anything happen while he’s away, our children will be safe, secure, and raised well and right by their fantastic mother. Of course, this made me cry harder. Added to my fear was guilt. He thought I was worried about our children being raised without a mother. He worried my concern was that he couldn’t parent them alone.
He was wrong.
My concern was that I wouldn’t be there. That my growing relationship with my children would end if there was a plane crash or a dreadful Earthquake. My fear was that I’d miss their first days of school, their first dates, sweet sixteen, college, wedding, home run hits, highs and lows. I know my fears were unlikely, but I couldn’t get past them.
I never did make that phone call, though. I packed for my trip. I overslept and ran out the door to make my plane in time. I rushed through 3 terminals on foot, for fear the shuttle would take to long. I made it to the plane, for the 5+ hour flight to San Francisco’s airport, without an opportunity to break down and cry.
On the plane, I scrolled through my pictures. I teared as I showed the stranger-friend (Nikki from Stella & Dot) next to me my adorable children.
It was totally worth it. I came back inspired (more on that coming soon), energized and even more in love with my family. I couldn’t wait to hug and hold each one. Today the computer stayed off: instead, I played and listened. After four days away, I realized how much I wanted to just stare at their faces and listen to their voices.
I learned a lot this week while at the Yahoo! Motherboard Summit. The most important thing I learned is to value time I have with my family. My time traveling without my children helped me grow into a stronger mom who recognizes the importance of time well spent.
I have this friend therapist. She suggested a fabulous idea that helps to teach families to communicate. It also helps children, and often parents, express their feelings and learn more about ways to deal with emotions. We call it High/Low.
Each night at dinner, we take turns sharing our high and low points of the day. Also known as favorite and least favorite, thumb up or thumb down, and best and worst, everyone is asked to share on their turn. Even the parents.
Its a great way to reflect on our day. Its an even better way to share our lives because, really, there are a lot of hours we don’t spend together. I love that we learn more about the Huz’s day. And the kids adore an equal opportunity to show off.
Of course, we don’t just state our high and low and move on. Hearing about someone’s favorite thing of the day often brings up conversation and questions. And in doing it, we’re all learning to have discussions. We’re learning to share emotions, express thoughts, ask and answer questions. Communication isn’t something everyone knows how to do. Its something that’s learned by example and practice.
Give it a try tonight at dinner. Rather than just eating and staring at your plates, ask your family about their highs and lows. Try it every day for a week. By the third day, you’re kids are likely to be attempting to determine their favorite by lunch time. Dinner will become exciting. The family will learn to take turns. And share. And discuss. And communicate.
And most important. They’ll learn to talk easily with you. And looking ahead, that’s a skill I want to make sure my children have already learned.
Let me know how it goes!
