I have this friend therapist. She suggested a fabulous idea that helps to teach families to communicate. It also helps children, and often parents, express their feelings and learn more about ways to deal with emotions. We call it High/Low.
Each night at dinner, we take turns sharing our high and low points of the day. Also known as favorite and least favorite, thumb up or thumb down, and best and worst, everyone is asked to share on their turn. Even the parents.
Its a great way to reflect on our day. Its an even better way to share our lives because, really, there are a lot of hours we don’t spend together. I love that we learn more about the Huz’s day. And the kids adore an equal opportunity to show off.
Of course, we don’t just state our high and low and move on. Hearing about someone’s favorite thing of the day often brings up conversation and questions. And in doing it, we’re all learning to have discussions. We’re learning to share emotions, express thoughts, ask and answer questions. Communication isn’t something everyone knows how to do. Its something that’s learned by example and practice.
Give it a try tonight at dinner. Rather than just eating and staring at your plates, ask your family about their highs and lows. Try it every day for a week. By the third day, you’re kids are likely to be attempting to determine their favorite by lunch time. Dinner will become exciting. The family will learn to take turns. And share. And discuss. And communicate.
And most important. They’ll learn to talk easily with you. And looking ahead, that’s a skill I want to make sure my children have already learned.
Let me know how it goes!
by Just Precious on April 9, 2010 · 1 comment
I’m a member of SITS Girls. I don’t get there every day, but try to visit about once a week or so. The point of SITS Girls is to find new blogs to fall in love with. Each visit, you follow to their blog of the day, comment, then comment back on the SITS Girls post with a link to your blog. Then, you’re encouraged to visit the blog of the person who commented before you. Its about finding and sharing and, yes, commenting. Of course, I appreciate the relevant comments.
Anyway, a few mornings ago, I decided to hop over to SITS to visit. That day we were asked to share our favorite posts. I shared my favorites for last week (and there were a few. I had a great week last week.) After commenting, I followed the comment above mine to one of the most inspirational posts I’ve ever read. It was on Biz Mommy, a site I’d never visited before. Biz Mommy is owned/edited by Tisha, and the goal of her site to help women make a positive change in their lives. Even if you aren’t looking to make a change, I encourage you to stop by and check it out because her posts are comforting and motivational.
Her link led me to a post titled Working Hard vs. Achieving. Rather than retelling the fantastic, real-life story that she shared, I want to encourage you to go check it out yourself. You’ll appreciate that I sent you. Promise.
Then, please come back here and tell me: Duck or Eagle? What are you now? Do you strive to be an eagle? What changes are you making to become an eagle in your life?
I love reading. Always have. There’s something about finding a good book and not being able to put it down that lifts m
y life into relaxation.
Its part of the reason I became a teacher. When asked why I wanted to teach, I would respond: I want to teach kids how to take the words they know to make beautiful pictures and stories. I want to teach them to use what they’ve learned to enter new worlds and experiences.
When I met the Huz, he didn’t read. Much. Unless it was related to financial matters or studying for the CPA exam. I knew I couldn’t change him, but I knew I could encourage him to enjoy life through books like I did. It took a while: studying for the CPA exam takes up a lot of reading time. But he saw me reading each night before I went to sleep, he experienced me getting lost in a book at the beach and pool, and, before a vacation several years ago, finally asked me to suggest some books for him. Since then, every time he has a book to read, I’ve noticed he’s more relaxed. Books do that.
Of course I wanted to help my children embrace reading as much as I do and, luckily, its been easy. The kids went through the usual steps: gnawing and drooling on books, reaching out and feeling the pictures, pushing pages, turning pages (Little is at this point now), making up stories and words to go with pictures, and listening. Listening. Listening. Listening.
There has never been a time the kids have pushed away books–primarily because we’ve been role models. They know we read. They know we love to. Every room in our house has a table with a book on it. And we welcome times to sit quietly and read. We read in bed, on couches, while breastfeeding (okay, only I do that), in the car, on the toilet. We even read during potty training to make the process easier and more calm.
Actually, the only time we’ve noticed hesitation toward books and reading is when its pushed. I’m a big believer in letting the kids read when they’re ready. There’s absolutely no reason for a child to read first in his class. If he does, great. But if he doesn’t he’s not going to be any further behind in the end. Everyone will learn to read on his own time.
I see parents pushing reading with flashcards and software programs. While its fine to present them to kids and let the kids know they’re available, its not okay to make them learn until they want to.
Reading is supposed to be fun. As the NBA says, its “FUNdamental”. Reading is fun. But only if you suggest it as so. When parents make reading a job, its reflected as such in their children’s attitudes.
But I digress. Around here we each have our own books. We read series. We read novels. We read board books. We read as a group and we read on our own. We are always welcome to grab a book, and if we’re caught reading we’re offered quiet time. (In other words, when Big or Middle grabs a book and settles in to read, everyone is reminded that he is focusing on the book and to please leave him alone.) Reading happens everywhere. And in my home, that’s how it should be.
This post was written in response to the Yahoo! Mother Board’s topic for March 2010: Celebrating Reading. Check out all my Y! Motherboard’s friends responses to this topic.
For more information on ways you can introduce and celebrate reading in your home, check out
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