Dear Just Precious,
I hear my daughter’s teacher is wonderful, and I want to make sure she knows that we’re excited to be in her class this year. I read that parents give gifts to their teachers on the first day. What should I give? What is the appropriate amount to spend?
I swear. Parents stress out over gifting… its not worth it. Really. Because, in a word, nothing. Give them nothing monetary on the first day of school. Give them a well-rested, well-fed, happy/nervous/curious/shy child and be a supportive parent and the teacher will be happy.
Here’s what you should consider:
On the first day of school your child’s teacher has about 23 new students to greet. She has 46 new hands to teach to wash and raise. She has 46 pairs of feet to remind not only not to run, but to walk in the right direction to the classroom or bathroom. She has 23 pairs of eyes to watch her as she stumbles and 23 pairs of ears who will hear her call Joey, Jason. She’s a wreck trying to just connect with her students and let them know that they all mean something to her.
She’s dying to get to know every child. She’s excited to welcome every child. (and every parent, sure.) But, really. You, the parent, you’re not her number one concern right now. So if you must go to the classroom (and I really do advise you against it unless your school encourages parents to take their students into the room to hug good-bye), do not do anything that would take the attention away from your child. Your child is what is important.
So why not send your child to school with a gift?
Think back to that teacher welcoming 23 new names with bright, shiny desks and 6 sharpened pencils in each pencil box. Imagine her having to show every child where his coat gets hung and what do do with his glue stick and tissue box. Imagine 23 children running up to you (the teacher) asking where the bathroom is and if he can borrow a book and what he should do next? Now. Imagine all that, in the first 2 minutes since the kids walk into the room, with a handful of gifts in your hands. Not a pretty sight, right? Not at all when you’re also dealing with a child in tears of nerves and another child frightened because his best friend from last year is across the hall. And then another little girl comes in and she doesn’t even belong in your room.
And all the teacher wants to do is hug these children and guide them. But she can’t. Because she has a handful of un-vased flowers and wrapped gifts and heavy books with big ribbons.
Still want to give a gift?
- Send a note on the second day, telling her what a great first day of school Sammy had and that you’re happy to help out around the room if she needs it, just call!
- Send a food tray (or home made desserts or a few pizzas) to the teachers’ room to welcome the staff back to school.
I’m not getting it, right? You really, really need to send a gift:
- Give your teacher a tiny bud vase with a single flower in it. Then, each Monday for the rest of the year send in a single flower to keep it fresh. (really, though, send the vase the 2nd week of school so this idea doesn’t overwhelm the teacher on the first day.)
Again, the most imporant things to send to school on the first day? A well-rested, well-fed, happy/nervous/sad/outgoing/shy/quiet/loud/confident child who knows that he has your love in his pocket. That. Is what a teacher wants most of all.
Big starts 1st grade this month at a new school. He already knows a few of the kids, but he’s nervous, and so am I. I started first grade as a new student, too. I entered the room (mid-year) knowing no one. I remember my dad holding me as the teacher came over to greet me. And the next week, I sat in the front row with 10 new friends vying for my attention. Most of the class befriended me right away. Being new in school in first grade is cool. You’re exciting.
So why can’t I, as his parent, realize that he’ll be fine? Why am I so nervous? I recognize that its a good school. I know he’ll handle the academics. I suppose I just feel so many emotions of this big move from his private Pteschool & Kindergarten where we all felt so safe and coddled to a big building that is so unfamiliar. I feel nervous. I feel scared. Will they like me, as a parent? Will I be thought of as pushy? Smart? Helpful? Annoying?
I’ve written a lot in the past about teaching and PTOing and parenting. I’ve always written from the perspective of someone who’s been there, done that. But this is a totally new perspective. I’ve never walked Big to the busstop where he’ll ride with the 5th graders (will there be bullies?) I’ve never provided him with lunch money and asked him to make the right choices in his meals. I’ve never sent him into an unfamiliar hallway with an unfamiliar teacher and unfamiliar rules. What if I don’t like his classmates? What if I don’t like their moms? What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t have an opportunity to be involved in his school the way I am in the Preschool and Kindergarten? (hmph. Some may say that would be a good thing.)
Wait, really? I’m having the back to school jitters, as a parent? I’m feeling butterflies like I’ve never felt before. I didn’t get this way before Kindergarten. I felt so safe because we’d been there before.
And I know how scared he is. He’s talked about it with me, albeit briefly. He fully expects to have his best friend, who was also in his Kindergarten and preschool classes in his classroom. He’s worried he won’t. He’s worried about the building he doesn’t know and the friends he hasn’t met and the teacher he doesn’t have a name or a face for.
I have to be confident, for him. I have to hug him and tell him its fine to be nervous, that everything will be great. I have to show him how to be strong on his first day of school. I have to do this for him.
But in the meantime, for you, I’m sharing that I’m just as terrified. Maybe more.
This post is in response to the Y! Mother Board‘s August topic, Back to School. Read tips and suggestions about Back to School season at Yahoo! Shine. And make sure you enter the Fill the Backpack contest this week on Just Precious, as well as the other Fill the Backpack member’s sites to win one of 16 backpacks overpacked with $300 worth of prizes. Are you a teacher? A parent? An Administrator? Enter for an opportunity to win $500 towards your dream classroom.
Economically, its a tough time. Yet we’re getting hundreds of calls asking us to give money. And we feel guilty every time we hang up the phone. Nodding your head in agreement? That’s okay. Here’s a very incomplete list of ways you can help charities without opening your wallet:
Help your local school: volunteer your time daily, weekly, monthly or once a year; call your teacher and offer to write her newsletter, run your classroom’s scholastic program (you can do this from home and it earns books for your school!)
Help your hospital: run a local toy drive for the children’s ward; volunteer at a blood drive; become a a candy striper (yes, even adults can do this!); volunteer at the hospital gala (by volunteering you can express that you can’t pay to enter but will work there instead. They’ll love you for that!)
Help at a run for a cause: Sure, you can run. You can also host a water station, be a registration volunteer, help with promotions, get your company to co-sponsor, be a run directional cheerleader (yes, they need those!)
Help your library: donate old, used books for a library’s used book sale; donate your books to a library; volunteer your time stacking shelves or teaching classes
Help at a shelter: offer to take leftovers to the shelter after your place of worship or school or event is over; volunteer in their consignment shop; run a toiletries drive to donate; collect mini-toiletries after a conference and donate them
Help at an event: Get your company to sponsor, collect raffle or auction donations, make phone calls, run registration, coordinate a part of the event
Clearly, an incomplete list because the opportunities to get yourself involved in causes are limitless. Have more ideas? Share them, please. Inspire someone.
by Just Precious on February 23, 2010 · 4 comments
In our call last week, Secretary Vilsack shared that a new Food Pyramid is planned to be unveiled later this year to reflect the findings of many different studies, and to encourage, or course, healthier eating. Here’s the big surprise, many active parents don’t realize that the pyramid has changed since we were in school.
While its true that the pyramid will be changing, that doesn’t stop the need to learn healthy eating in the mean time. The Department of Agriculture created several great webpages to teach children and families basics of healthy eating, starting with the pyramid.
My Pyramid for Kids includes an interactive game where kids ages 6-11 race through space learning about healthy eating. Also are links for parents, a worksheet, a coloring page and teacher resources.
The Preschoolers Pyramid page was built for 2-5 year olds. On this page you and your kids can create a “pyramid plan” for your kid, based on his age and amount of daily activity. Parents can also learn ways to be more healthy with your children. Note that this page is not for Preschoolers to play but for parents to learn how to better help their children.
There’s also a page for moms and moms-to-be which focuses on pregnancy and breastfeeding health. Easy to read, its worth checkign out if not for review, than to answer quick questions if you fall into either of these catagories.
What’s the point? Well, if we want our children to make wise choices in eating, its going to have to start at home. Parents need to make sure that their children’s plates are colorful, serving the correct number of grains in relation to dairy. And we need to teach our children, outside of school, what’s important.
Additionally, if your schools aren’t teaching your children about healthy eating, its your job to encourage the School Directors to put health back into the curriculum. And there’s no better way to do that than to come armed with knowledge, as well as suggestions for teaching.
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